I would describe myself as a nice girl, however I’ve always made my own rules and it hasn’t been easy. When a woman knows what she wants, she’s labeled a diva, difficult, and of course a bitch. Even from the people closest to us, having opinions on how we should or shouldn’t conduct our lives because of our biology. When did it become unacceptable for a woman to identify what she wants and go after it with such an intensity that only she knows might possibly work in her favor? When did women become afraid of going after such desires when we’ve fought so hard to prove ourselves time and again of our equality?
I thought we’ve come so far from the days women were to stay quiet and look pretty, but I’m learning thats not quite the case. Specifically, as a black women, I was taught to be strong, believe in myself and depend solely on myself for any and everything. But when does that mind set hinder instead of help us? Being so strong that we’re unable to be vulernable when need be. I sometimes find myself fearful to speak up at times or pursue desires that I know is right for me because I’m afraid of those labels previously mentioned. For example, I am afraid I’ll be seen as too aggressive or un lady like for going outside of the societies normal gender roles on love and relationships and even limit expressing my ideas for the fear of being considered controlling/domineering.
Women have made so much progress within the last century yet too scared to speak up in times of fear, ambitions and even love. I am no longer feeling guilty for chasing my dreams or being aggressive in any part of my life. I mean, what is there really to lose going after what you want? Nothing is going to block my blessings. If God wants us to pursue him actively and relentlessly, I’m going assume he wants us to not only pray for what we want but actively seek our desires just the same.
Photos: Jen Young
Boots: DIY > Plaid material from Joannes